UNIVERSAL MAN – EP 5 – CONFIDENCE
Our episode this week explores confidence. It might be you’ve lost the confidence to make key moves at work, you’re nervous catching up with mates or uncertain around people in powerful positions. The truth is it takes a thousand forms and for some reason, you’ve just lost your mojo. And unfortunately, being blokes, we often prefer to suffer in silence without taking precise action that can shift us to a more confident place.
We aren’t talking about clutch moments and kicking the winning goal. We are talking about a nagging feeling that lots of guys get as they get older. They lose that youthful spirit and arrogance and the flow that goes with it. Perhaps they’ve had a few knocks. But in this case, it’s that self-belief that has gone missing.
HOW TO GET YOUR CONFIDENCE BACK
Remember that this impacts EVERYONE. Even the highest performers on the planet go through patches when they lose their flow; it is part of the ebb and flow we call life. So take it easy on yourself big guy. Shit happens, you’re going to get knocks. That’s just what happens.
Here are a few tips to help you get your confidence back:
- If you’re going into key meetings and performances and just don’t feel the vibe then step back and check the quality of your preparation. This is nearly always a way to boost your outcomes and in fact is the difference between arrogance and justifiable confidence. Arrogance is brittle because you haven’t done the hard work. Justifiable confidence is solid because you’re well prepared and know your shit. So when you’ve got something big on, double-down and cover all bases and potential situations in your preparation. It just might lift your flow.
- Remember, what’s already in your backpack of resources. You’ve had a big life full of learning and experiences. The thing is sometimes in the heat of the moment we forget just how resourceful we can be when we check in with all our own wisdom and insights. Dig into that bag and see what you find.
- A monster of a problem that is just about the biggest killer of confidence is lack of skill. If you’re stuck and lacking the kick in your step then a little knowledge will light the way. These days there is no excuse, with online learning and concepts at your fingertips. Do some learning on whatever it is your losing confidence in and see how it changes the dynamic immediately.
- Linked to lack of skill is not knowing the game plan. Knowing your approach in a certain situation and the steps you’re going to follow drives incredible confidence; it is a lot like muscle memory. If you’ve ever learnt a musical instrument you’ll know what this is like. First time around you can’t always remember the full order of a song but after you’ve been through a few dozen times it seeps in and your confidence grows. You know the steps and that means you can relax and start to express yourself.
- A lot of blokes overestimate the number of setbacks they’ve had. They get all pessimistic and cynical about the world and then wonder why they don’t feel confident in the moment. Sometimes it can pay to double-check your language and the way you think about things and express them. If you’re looking at something really negatively, like this ‘always’ happens to you then check that at the door and take a more positive approach. At the very least even try and fake it till you make it.
- Sometimes we feel an imposter syndrome or we put others right up on a pedestal creating all sorts of fantasies about how amazing they are when really they’re just like us. The key here is to just remember we are all equal and to just be the best you that you can be. Focus on yourself and being honest and working hard and that should bring back a little confidence.
- Just get started! Set yourself realistic short and medium terms goals full of practical, able to be ticked off items, and you will begin to feel the energy flow again – and with it, confidence.
- In the end, sometimes you’re just taking the wrong approach personally and behaviourally. For some reason, you’re putting up a facade and a bit of a show and other’s bullshit detectors are starting to go off. Drop the veneer and revert to your authentic self. It’s a huge relief and a place of great personal power.
Remember, confidence is contagious and it spreads quickly throughout yourself and those around you. A universal man will often create the space and the clarity for those around them which can be incredibly liberating.
In the tough moments, confidence comes down to choice. There is ALWAYS a way to improve it. Stop, become aware, make a 5 second choice to believe in the power that IS within you! It takes bravery and a thirst for growth to get your confidence back on track. And when you do your own spirit is at its greatest.
BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE CHALLENGE
On your or own or with a few mates, answer the following:
- When have I lost my confidence?
- What was the main cause?
- Is there a pattern in there somewhere – what is it?
- What is one thing I wish I had more confidence in?
- How could I increase my confidence?
Pricey & Grego