December 21, 2022

88. How to find a men’s group that is right for you

In this episode of The Universal Man podcast, the guys do a quick round-up of what Universal Man means to them and what you should be looking for in a men’s group.


“These mightn’t necessarily be your really close mates. It’s people who are just on the same kind of a journey that you think you are on.”


The below quotes come from 12 blokes who recently spent some time together away from their daily lives for a couple of short days on the beautiful Sunshine Coast, in Queensland, Australia. They decided that they wanted to chat a little bit more about what it could mean to find a men’s group that’s suitable for you.

The 12 guys in this episode are (in no particular order):

  • Damien Jones
  • Luke Baker
  • Justin McNamara
  • Carlyle Jenkins
  • Kyle Britto
  • Ray O’Brien
  • Oliver Wightman
  • Jimmy Purcell
  • Tyson Clarke
  • Tom Walton
  • Greg Layton
  • Damien Price


“About five years ago, I was sitting around with a group of friends sitting having a chat and I just had this gut feeling that something was missing. I wasn’t getting something from the group of friends that I had before and I wanted to explore something. I didn’t feel comfortable raising it with my current group of friends. So I started to search for something more meaningful and I really wanted to find a group that would support me and in my journey.”


“This podcast is about how you can find a group of men that is a safe space to share and grow personally with. This may be, you may feel like you are a lone wolf out there looking for your pack. You may not know that you are looking, but this is how to.”


“And the kind of guys you’re going to take on this journey with you, mightn’t necessarily be your really close mates. It’s people in your circle of influence. It’s people who are just on the same kind of a journey that you think you are on. Could be a mentor, someone that you can join with, walk with, to grow you to be a better man.”


“So now thinking about some of the pitfalls around this space, in this digitally infused society, we can drift along and keep finding excuses because we’re simply too busy. We don’t want to take that first step and take a risk to move ourselves forward.”


“So often a huge barrier for us engaging in this sort of thing and actually taking the time out to be deliberate in doing this, is that we think there’s some sort of ticket to entry or there’s some sort of special sauce involved with these sort of gatherings. You might know some people who do this sort of thing or have seen it in society and think it’s maybe a religious thing or there’s some sort of culty aspect to it or people doing something weird that you can’t connect with. But the reality is we’re going to talk a bit about how it’s a lot of simple things done at the right place, at the right time.”


“You may be concerned about opening a Pandora’s box. What will you discover about yourself? Are you ready to learn more about yourself? Don’t be concerned. These are the real gifts of these types of men’s groups.”


“Legend, you may be sitting there and just in your heart that there are some things inside you that perhaps you fear to go towards. There’s a fear of the truth and that can lead, and certainly a lot of the men that I’ve known over the years, at that point can lack a little bit of mental courage which causes you to float a bit. And that can be one of the key pitfalls.”


“So once you’ve decided to take this step and launch yourself into finding a men’s group, it’s really important that you actually spend some time and sit down and define what you want, define what you want out of this men’s group. That includes looking at the themes of the men’s group, sometimes even looking at the lens at which the men’s group gathers. Maybe it’s under a religious setting, maybe it’s under an outdoor setting, maybe it’s under something a little bit more structured. But it’s really important to sit down and work out what you actually want out of this to be able to move forward and find a men’s group that meets your needs.”


“A great way to find that and to start that, if you can’t find something on Google, if you can’t find something online, is reaching out to someone. Find someone you trust, find somebody maybe you look up to and you go, that guy’s got it all sorted out. Meet up with him for a coffee, catch up with him for a beer and ask the question. See if he knows a men’s group or something that he can send you onto to help you find the men’s group you need.”


“A couple of the things that we’ve found that really contribute to great outcomes in these kinds of group settings is that whilst we are now talking to you about finding a group, for yourself, when you’re there, it’s important to be present for the others. It’s actually one of the keys to unlocking progress, is to be a bit vulnerable yourself, within a safe space, of course. But to be open yourself and listen to others as well. And feedback. Be open to the feedback you might receive. Think of it more as a gift, gifts for others.”


“Having done the work, going through the process we’ve discussed so far, you can go into these things, not anticipating what might go wrong or there’ll certainly be a bit of nervousness and trepidation. But you can go into these things knowing that if it’s within your circle of influence and the people that you’ll be with are your kind of people, that it’ll be a lot of fun. And I think that’s something we can all attest to from the last couple of days. We’ve all had a lot of fun while doing the hard work.”


“Having found a group that you feel comfortable with and safe with. My encouragement would be to make sure that you immerse yourself in that. You’ll reap what you sow. You can sit on the periphery and watch and observe or you can share yourself, make yourself vulnerable, engage with others, and let them grow from your wisdom as well.”


“I guess it’s certainly a risk, but the reward of working in a group dynamic that’s in a safe space really allows you to grow and go places that you just can’t get on your own. So get looking.”


Stay legendary,

Grego and Pricey