June 25, 2018

1. Crossroads


A crossroad is a significant juncture in your life where something has to change. This might be a relationship, a job or where you live etc. A crossroad approaches when what has been happening can no longer continue and action must be taken for you to be truly happy. It can often feel like one chapter is closing and another needs to open.


If you’re like us then your life has been littered with crossroads. Some are life-defining moments that close a chapter in our lives while others are less significant but can play an equally important role in shaping our lives. What’s undeniably true is that our response to crossroads writes the story of our lives.
We find that there can be three responses to crossroads. Some are blocked by them, are scared by them and hence avoid them – finding a detour around them that ultimately rods you off a vital life lesson. Some are so unaware that they sail through the crossroad not even aware that it exists; their unaware pain, frustration or anger will be projected on to those around you. Others will enter the crossroad ready to listen and learn. These come out the other side wiser and greater men!
Crossroads have much to offer us in wisdom and life lessons but they can be missed if we don’t tap into this. In considering the crossroads in our lives it’s important we quieten our overactive heads and channel our inner strength to rise to the challenge. The first step to nailing crossroad moments is an awareness that you’re at a crossroad and that you’re in the driver’s seat.
One of the big pitfalls at this point is that a lot of blokes will start thinking about a course of action and it scares the hell out of them. The fear spikes and they burrow down and do nothing. We’ve all been there and the same issues come again a little later. And we’ve all seen mates chicken out of a key life decision. Crossroads aren’t easy.


Here are a few steps The Universal Man can follow to help when big things are going down.

  1. AWARENESS: Seek awareness during times of change so you’re present and checked in to the crossroads opportunity – Normally your internal alarm bells will be going off. So stop for a minute. Literally, this may mean having a weekend away, going surfing, build into your day/week some space for ‘nothing’ but sitting and doing some inner listening; but do it YOUR way.
  2. ESSENCE: Once you’ve stopped and checked in the next steps is to do a bit of a deep dive to understand the essence of what’s really going on. A few ways you can do this are:  
    1. Spending some time on your own with a journal and just mapping out the situation. You can do this by writing down your feelings and seeking a deeper understanding of what is driving them. Don’t rush this. The responses you get immediately will often have a deeper wisdom hidden behind them; patiently wait for it.
    2. Connect with a trusted mate: You can go to a trusted mate that brings out the very best in you and ask for their advice. Ask them what they see? Seek their counsel and test their advice against your own internal compass.
    3. Get into nature or the gym and let the mind be free of your problems for a while and the body works hard so you can clear the mind. This might help bring a new perspective to what is going on.
  3. DESIGN: Design a solution that is congruent, reduces risk and is the right path forward. This might be a slight re-direction or something significant. Do not tunnel down and do nothing. Remember, the change doesn’t have to be drastic…it just has to be changed.
  4. COURAGE: Have courage and ensure you’re proud of the way you carry yourself through a crossroad.



On your own or with a few mates, answer the following:

  1. What have been the major crossroads in my life? Did I take the right path and am I proud of the way I responded?
  2. What, if anything, is common in my response at a crossroads?
  3. How would you apply and personalise the process for dealing with a crossroad?
  4. Where am I in regards to crossroads in my life at the moment?