June 21, 2021

72. Learning from your Shadow

The shadow self…where so many challenges for me come from is paradoxically one of the greatest sources of growth for men. (Read or listen to our first instalment on this here)

The shadow is often the home of our fears, insecurities, anxieties, worries and just loves to work in combination with our ego to cover up the greatest areas for personal growth. It plays out in projection and avoidance and even sometimes in a lack of self-esteem or

These can be really hard lessons for a man to take because by their very nature you’re identifying a weakness in yourself that has been playing out in the real world. And these things are often emotionally charged like relationships or great achievements that were driven by some internal battle.

What is important for men now is to find a courage to as Pema Chodron would say, “Go to the places that scare you.” As men we have to find a courage to work with some of our greatest internal issues. Do the inner work so to speak. When we don’t our foundations are weaker and because we have glossed over the hard stuff we are actually weaker and more fragile int he real world. Inner work and understanding our shadow build a well-round, stable and strong man that is comfortable in their own skin. It plays a powerful role in a deep personal confidence…that piece that allows you to not need to be the best in the eyes of others. To life others up and make space for others to grow.

It starts with taking time to reflect on your own internal complexes. Ask yourself:

  • What are the the little things I carry tension or anxiety about?
  • What things I fear? and why? (e.g. not being accepted by others? failing in my job?)
  • Is there anything I project into the world through relationships that is from my shadow? (e.g needing lots of affection?)

The process of identifying these things is a major step forward in understanding your shadow.

Stay legendary

Grego and Pricey

(Join us on our upcoming BASECAMP here)